"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to what happens to you."
– Chuck Swindoll
I'd like to share with you a simple, but powerful formula I came across a few years ago. I guarantee that understanding and applying it will make your life better and make you better at life.
E + R = O
E = EVENT
An event happens in your life. A layoff. A divorce. A sickness. A setback.
R = RESPONSE
You choose your response to the event.
O = OUTCOME
Your response to the event determines the outcome.
Let me explain how this helped me in a powerful way.
I unexpectedly got laid off in 2015. Frankly, it was an emotional gut punch. As you would expect, I had normal human emotions of anger, resentment, and bitterness.
But I had a choice.
I could either concentrate my energies and emotions looking back at the event. However, it would not change the fact that it happened and, more importantly, it would not take me to the place where I wanted to go (the Outcome).
Or I could use my energy and emotion in a positive way, moving forward to the outcome I wanted.
This is the difference between reacting vs responding. Reacting is letting emotions take over. Responding is pausing and choosing the way that leads to a good outcome.
Tim Kight, who came up with this formula, would say there is a 3 step process to Responding:
1. Pause.
2. Get your mind right (Think through your choices and decide your best response.)
3. Step up. (Move forward with constructive action.)
I made the choice to focus my time and energy in building a successful business. And I am happily back providing leadership training with my previous employer.
I don't share this with you to imply I'm such a great guy. Frankly, I didn't want to sabotage myself.
Since I came across this model, I am amazed at the number of life situations it applies to.
I have seen the scenario play out time and time again, where someone can't get past the Event. They spend all their time there. They are looking backward and it's not helpful.
I know reacting is a lot easier than responding. But when tempted to react, consider the outcome. Will that take you where you want to go?
Play the end of the movie.
I always want you landing in the best place possible.
How might you apply this formula to your life?
"We can either make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves strong."
- Carlos Castaneda