The Counterintuitive Advantage

"There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who walk into a room and say, 'There you are' and those who say, 'Here I am'" - Pauline Phillips

Here is a cold, hard fact: we are all self-centered. When someone takes a group picture and you see it for the first time, who do you look for first? You, of course. And if you look good, the picture is good, despite how everyone else may look.

Our default is to think about ourselves first. However, if we can train ourselves to regularly see things from another person’s point of view, we will have a distinct advantage and live life more successfully.

Here are some examples:


Self-centered approach: “How can I sell them the product or service that pays the most commission?”

Other-centered approach: “What problems or obstacles are they facing that I can help them solve?”



Self-centered approach: “How can I impress the audience?”

Other-centered approach: “How can I put things in a way that is easy to understand and helpful to the audience?”



Self-centered approach: “What can I do to make myself look good?”

Other-centered approach: “What qualities are they looking for in a person for this position?”



Self-centered approach: “What perks, pay and privileges will I get in this position?”

Other-centered approach: “How can I help my team members succeed?”



Self-centered approach: “How can I get this difficult customer out of my hair?”

Other-centered approach: “How can I win this customer over?”



Self-centered approach: “How can I get the best of the other person and win the argument?”

Other-centered approach: “There must be a reason they are acting that way. I should find out why.”

This approach will not come naturally and we can’t practice it 100% of the time. But if we intentionally and strategically take this approach, we will find that life is better and we are better at life.