The Comparison Trap: 3 Ways to Overcome It
A few years ago, I attended a conference in Orlando. Because I am an early riser and like to work out in the morning, I found myself alone in the hotel fitness center at 5:30 a.m. I immediately began to mentally congratulate myself on how disciplined I was compared to all the lazy sleepyheads still in their rooms.
About 10 minutes later, someone about 20 years younger than me got on a treadmill. It didn’t take long before he was running about 3 times as fast as me. I immediately began to think about how out of shape and slow I was.
This is the comparison trap. When we constantly measure ourselves against others, we fluctuate back and forth from having a superiority complex to having an inferiority complex. Neither are healthy.
Unfortunately, comparing ourselves to others is the default human condition. But with mental training, we can re-wire our brains to combat this tendency.
Here are 3 dangers in comparing ourselves to others, along with a corresponding remedy.
DANGER #1: WE BECOME UNGRATEFUL BECAUSE WE TEND TO LOOK AT THOSE WHO HAVE IT BETTER.
My natural tendency is to envy those who have a nicer car, less fat and more hair. This takes away from all the blessings I do have.
REMEDY #1: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
If you are reading this, you likely have more material blessings than 98% of the rest of the world. Quit comparing yourself to the other 2%.
Start each morning thanking God for all that you do have: food, clothing, shelter, health, family, friends, a job, etc. As your head hits the pillow, practice gratefulness again.
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because
we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
- Andy Stanley
DANGER #2: IT CREATES SCARCITY THINKING
When we compare ourselves to others, we don’t want the best for others. We think that, somehow, someone else’s success hinders our own success.
REMEDY #2: ADOPT ABUNDANCE THINKING
Understand that there is more than enough good to go around for everyone. The other person can thrive and prosper – and you can too!
DANGER #3: WE FOCUS ON WHAT WE CAN'T CONTROL
There will always be others who have it better or are better in some areas. Therefore, comparing our self to others is futile and discouraging. This thinking creates wasted energy and fosters discontent.
REMEDY #3: PURSUE PERSONAL EXCELLENCE
Focus on being your best. Direct your energy on making full use of the gifts God gave you. Maximize your abilities.
“I decided to resign myself
from the position of general manager of the universe.”
– Jeffrey Gitomer
Comparing yourself to others creates envy, diffuses your energy, and limits your potential. Focusing on being all you can be, brings inner peace and fulfillment. Quit looking around you, look within you, and look up with gratitude.
I'm excited to share that we have added a new section to the Accelerating Excellence Website, the Resource Gallery.
Here you can access my podcasts, ebooks, whitepapers and templates in your pursuit of personal and professional excellence. We will regularly update this section with more resources to help you succeed.
I'm excited to share that we have added a new section to the Accelerating Excellence Website, the Resource Gallery.
Here you can access my podcasts, ebooks, whitepapers and templates in your pursuit of personal and professional excellence. We will regularly update this section with more resources to help you succeed.
